具體描述
Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.
Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about the human heart—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so too the prohibition against it—in fact, it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. So what are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.
For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.
Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
用戶評價
##寫作風格太散亂，例子太多，看不太下去瞭。不過得到一些啓發
##基本聽完她那期ted talk就不用再看這本書瞭
##作者的TED和Youtube上關於這本書對作者所做的interview（Esther Perel with Chris Cuomo: The state of Affairs — rethinking infidelity)也很值得一看。然後不知道是不是作者會九國語言的緣故，或者我的詞匯量太小，感覺整本書的用詞都很晦澀，不想一直查字典就各種連猜帶濛，重溫瞭刷閱讀理解題的感受😳
##寫得有點亂吧，反正人類婚姻關係一整個沒意思。婚女開心就好
##寫作風格太散亂，例子太多，看不太下去瞭。不過得到一些啓發
##寫得有點亂吧，反正人類婚姻關係一整個沒意思。婚女開心就好
##寫作風格太散亂，例子太多，看不太下去瞭。不過得到一些啓發
##想把孔老夫子的話變個順序說，未知死焉知生。沒想到是一本探討affair的書反而給我帶來瞭關於婚姻、兩性關係等話題頗不一樣的洞見和啓示。敏感的議題，富於同情心同理心以及專業知識（心理學、社會學、曆史、文化...ect.）的視角和執業態度，每一章節不同的關注點，大量的therapy案例等等。是一場過癮的閱讀體驗。
##作者的TED和Youtube上關於這本書對作者所做的interview（Esther Perel with Chris Cuomo: The state of Affairs — rethinking infidelity)也很值得一看。然後不知道是不是作者會九國語言的緣故，或者我的詞匯量太小，感覺整本書的用詞都很晦澀，不想一直查字典就各種連猜帶濛，重溫瞭刷閱讀理解題的感受😳