发表于2024-11-13
Esther Perel is a couples and family therapist with a private practice in New York City. She is on the faculty of the International Trauma Studies program at Columbia University, is a member of the American Family Therapy Academy, and has appeared on many television programs, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Day New York, CBS This Morning, and HBO's Women Aloud. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children.
Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.
Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about the human heart—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so too the prohibition against it—in fact, it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. So what are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.
For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.
Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
The State of Affairs 下载 mobi pdf epub txt 电子书 格式 2024
The State of Affairs 下载 mobi epub pdf 电子书##4.5 Perel opens up a taboo conversation that should've been held a long time ago. With her professional, profound and insightful prose, Perel seeks to neither judge the unfaithful nor justify the action of philandering; her kind and wise words encourage us to take a dual perspective and anticipate the most imponderables. Highly recommended.
评分##[Audiobook] 比Esther的另一本mating in captivity更深入,毕竟这本只是专注于infidelity的问题。自己的价值观和Esther讲的基本没有什么区别,但在大多数人和mainstream practitioner看来这样的openness可能是很极端的,摊手。毕竟现在并没有做过系统的couple therapy的training,所以也不用很纠结personal value和clinical work的问题。很好奇以后如果做Gottman的training要怎么整合非常不同的价值观233
评分 评分 评分##existential affair的说法有意思,关系性质彼此明确的话,affair源于个人的existential crisis. 修补关系的沟通:分析需求而非执迷细节,investigative instead of detective approach.
评分Thought provoking indeed. 跟她的前作Mating in Captivity比起来,这本书是基于前作并更加专攻infidelity。Esther Perel在这一方面真的是我的偶像了,每次看她的书听她的podcast都学到好多。她给的观点都相当客观,都有现实案例来支撑。Infidelity可以让情侣们学到很多,但她并不建议大家走这条路去吸取教训;polyamory不是毫无规矩的纵欲,他们也有自己遵循的一套法则;很多时候infidelity是基于沟通失败,权力关系失衡等等的缘由;有的关系可以在经历外遇后存活,有的则不能,所以根本没有一个完美的解决方案。最重要的还是明白恋爱关系中并没有“占有权”,一切都是“租赁关系”,可以重新“续单”很好,不能重新“续单”要反思。
评分 评分##一、出轨的定义 本书里关于出轨的定义如下: For me, infidelity includes one or more of these three constitutive elements: secrecy, sexual alchemy, and emotional involvement. "Including one or more" 通常会被认为只要具备一个条件就够了。但是在一个关于这本书的访...
评分The State of Affairs mobi epub pdf txt 电子书 格式下载 2024